I outlived my debt and am in shock

Today my darling wee fluffy tailed tuxedo house-lioness, Pearl, is at the vet’s office getting spayed, and also MY STUDENT LOANS WERE FORGIVEN I AM OVER THE MOOOOON!!!!!!!

Both of these things are long awaited. Pearl has had this appointment for months, and I have been despairing over the impossible debt for decades.

This debt is from 1989-1992, and after a financial counseling session where I realized I had been talked into something expensive by well meaning family (private liberal arts college that my great-grandmother went to around 19-aught-something when it was a music conservatory — and probably not balls expensive like when I went) I quit and transferred to a state school, which seemed like a good idea at the time. I didn’t take out any more loans, but had to pay rent and bills and couldn’t make my school schedule and work schedule align in time, so I quit and worked several jobs, thinking I would eventually return.

There was a period of time when my job (night cook at a downtown bar — before the indoor smoking ban) and pregnancy/new motherhood were not compatible, so I had temporary hardship forbearance. I resumed payments but years later defaulted during a time of financial instability, and then rehabbed the loan for 18 months so it was in good standing again by 2012. From 2013-2016 I was a full time student, so payments paused, and paused again during covid. I don’t owe Austin Community College or UT because most was paid by grants — I consolidated the comparatively small amount I had left to pay UT with the original loan and it too is now forgiven.

Am I FREE? Are we free of this? Is it real?

There was a time I thought I would be able to pay it off if I got a good job and was thrifty, but the interest was so high, it only grew, and my pay has never been great. My only comfort was that the debt would die with me and my kids wouldn’t have to be stuck with it. I outlived it though. We outlived it. I hope all of us outlive it.

I don’t drive or own the house I live in, never took out another loan, we live paycheck to paycheck, pay bills, and I tried to keep The Creditor off my back. When I looked at the servicer site yesterday and saw zeroes, it didn’t seem real — like when the loans got consolidated, the servicer changed and it was in limbo until the debt returned in a new color, font, and logo. Yesterday I was skeptical, but today I got an email with a congratulatory letter from POTUS and VPOTUS.

It still doesn’t feel real. I am just as broke, but without the debt I feel at least a little liberated. Symbolically, but still. I truly hope that this happens for everyone — that we may all celebrate a time of jubilee,1 relief, and happiness, especially since there are huge problems that are much more important to address — like figuring out how to live through all the end times wrath of God climate calamities and whatnot.

What I want to know is how many yachts did the interest from our debts buy for Betsy DeVos2, and can we borrow one or two for a joyride?

Also, I really REALLY hope that people who are not yet eligible for forgiveness get forgiven as soon as possible because being low income with a high interest debt in this economy is crushing and demoralizing, and it is hard to be a “pRoDuCtIvE mEmBeR oF sOcIeTy” when you feel hopeless and in some cases, suicidal,3 because we have a really cruel way of rewarding people who want to learn, research, and share knowledge but who are not suited for the ever-shifting “top ten STEM jobs for college graduates according to the college board” path.

I think I was planning to write more in this entry but I am trying to get i the habit of finishing things, and there are several things in drafts that I would prefer to spend time on. Mostly I was excited about my loan being forgiven and little Pearl getting spayed.

So, onward.